Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Why do I obsessively think about my weight? I mean it really is starting to get to me. It consumes most of my thoughts and then I feel down. Why haven't I been able to loose the weight since Sophia came? I am eating really healthy, I am pretty active. I wonder do i have thyroid problems or something medical, or is it just going to be the hardest thing in my life to stay healthy. Do you know that in jr high and high school there was a boy who would oink when i walked by? Not a great way to build self esteem. I used to want to play soft ball, or play basketball during p.e. but didnt dare. I would have died if my shirt lifted up and someone saw my belly rolls. How come we bring our childhood insecurities with us to adulthood. I mean I am married have two beautiful children, nice house, things are going well. Why am I not completely happy. MY WEIGHT IS BRINGING ME DOWN. I watch all of these comersials for nutrasystem or jenny craig and think "if only i could afford that". But that would only solve a small bit of the problem now wouldn't it. I have a plan that I have been trying out in my head maybe i'll put it into action soon. UGH!!!!